如果一个人没有了梦想,

是不是应该从这个世界上消失呢?

不管过去演示得多好，

始终还是要面对真正的自己的吧!!!

--

连名字都在欺骗别人和自己...

不管多么努力的想要容入常人的想法..

可是,这个空洞的身体已经到了极限了吧!!!

已经无力再装扮下去..............

..........................

........................

....................

....................

..........................

...................................

...................

...............

...................

.............

.............

........

.............................

 

 

 

所以我每天的任务就是告诉自己,以微笑对待身边的每一个人,

----------------

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 怎么办,怎么办,我的宝贝妈妈病了,病得很严重...

可是现在又不可以回家照顾妈妈,至少尽点女儿的孝心吧~~!

也许人长大了,慢慢的有了越来越多的情感才会发现越来越多的无奈吧...

好想好想陪在妈妈身边,陪她度过每一个难关,

每天每天陪在妈妈身边,听她倾诉...再多的无奈我也会听下去,就想以前一样..

哪怕每天都是重复着同样的话我也愿意一辈子听下去..只要妈妈在我身边...

现在妈妈病了,我们却没有人能在她身边照顾,陪伴她...

至少每天可以去医院看妈妈,做好吃的给妈妈,医院的东西一定不好吃的..

陪妈妈聊聊天, 说些笑话给妈妈听

而不是让妈妈一个人面对病痛..

可惜我所能做的.

唯有每天为妈妈祈祷,祝妈妈能早点康复, 一切顺利..

.........................

总是想做点什么的,想到自己的无奈, 全身都感觉到乏力..

 

 

 

开始有好多功课了，关键不在乎多，是不会做， 555555555...

哎~~~~

学校放假总是有阴谋的，以前以为在国外会不一样的，

没想到天下乌鸦（学校）一般黑...哼....

放完假,就要交一大堆的作业,还有其中考试...

不是说风雨过后会见到彩虹的吗?

我可是只看见乌云密布....哎...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

哎`~~~嘘~~~~

好热........

在广州陪着妈妈快一个星期之久了...

日子过得挺无聊的...

每天热得晚上睡不着,早上才刚刚睡下没过多久就要起身了...

妈妈租的房子很小,风扇更是小,刚好可以帮蚊子解暑吧,呵呵~

空调---离我太遥远了, 也许是在家里的时候每天在空调下度过,现在遭到报应了吧!

可是吹冷气有罪吗? 可怜的我....

每天不睡觉又没什么事情可以做了,唯有每天下午上网可以找人解解闷,

只是爸爸妈妈都太忙了,都没有时间可以陪我,所以只能在这里自生自灭了...

到了吃晚饭的时间再和妈妈出去吃饭,然后回家睡觉就过完一天了...

哎~~~~

但是一天最幸福的时刻就是冲凉的时候了,好舒服.....

觉得这一天就是为了迎接这个时刻而过来的....

几乎每天冲3次吧~感觉生活就是冲凉...

...........

不过,能在妈妈身边总是开心的,虽然也没有什么开心的事情发生...

但是能看到妈妈,能和妈妈在一起,即使最平常的事也觉得值得,也会开心...

只是有时候妈妈在忙的时候,

上网也找不到人有时间可以解闷, 好无聊呀~~~~!!!

 

 

 

最近天气转凉,

心情也跟着转凉...

考试快要临近,有一些些害怕,

都能过的吧!!!

今天很不舒服哦,

早上起身,感觉很不舒服...

紧接着早上去上课时不停的在吞咽自己的血...(恐怖..汗)

整整3个小时,清晰的血味..

小时候总是会觉得只有吸血鬼才会饮血的吧!!

难道我上背子是吸血鬼吗?

恐怖升级~A ZA!

不管怎么样为了安慰自己,所以上完课就回家睡觉到下午...

直到刚才渐渐好转..

其实可以说已经习惯了血的味道吧...

 

明天一定要去图书馆看书了~

刚巴里得士!!!!

 

my little brather names Chris as far as i know,

today is his birthday, and also is the very first time i really care about he.

sounds i am such bad sister! whatever.............

my little brather, my best wishes for your whole life!

my little brather, your are the most important part of my life!

my little brather, all of your dreams will be comes true!

my little brather, happy birthday!!!

no matter what happened to you, and what will be happen to you,

remeber i always beside you and take care of you.

be faith all the time, you life gonna running as you wondering.

 

今天查看到朋友发给我的一份邮件，

如果不贴出来我就觉得太可惜了．

希望ＭＡＲＴＩＮ同志不要怀恨在心，

为广大的人民群众带来点欢乐也是不错的，

我代表亿万的中华人民共和国的同志人像你致以崇高的敬意，

感谢你发扬了中华人民的传统美德，

感谢你为中华人民制造出了另一笔伟大的财产－－鸡蛋，

你将会被后世人所铭记，

以下是转自ＭＡＲＴＩＮ　同志的邮件．

让我们一起为ＭＡＲＴＩＮ同志欢呼！！！多多发言！！！

 

 

学期有开始了,

总是还没来得及去迎接

就开始了.

上了3个月的班,却也没存到什么钱

今天还答应了老板一个礼拜做2天全天的工作,

奇怪自己本来想跟老板说辞职的,

可是现在反而越做越多了.

没有办法缺钱花,见好就收拉!

悲哀啊!~~

最近刚刚和姐姐搬了个新家,

房东人真的很好,够随和有很爱整洁爱干净,

而且房子也很便宜,

想想在CITY能住到这么好的房子在这个价位

真的有如捡到宝一样.

房东还说找工作的事他会帮我们叫我们不用担心,

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈, 真是完美啊!

够理由开香摈庆祝一下了.

相比之下,以前的那个地方,房东没把我气的吐血就万幸了.

一直拖欠我和我姐的钱不给,哎~~

还总是堂而煌之的找乱七八糟的理由扣别人很多钱.

好象没那几个钱就没法活下去了.

反正,上海人没有一个口碑好的,

在澳洲名气算是臭到老家去了.

当然拉,除了我的KITTY和RINO以外了,她们都是很好的.

 

这个礼拜去上课,看到身边的人

听到老师讲的课,思考整个学期所要做的作业,

留在我脑海里的只有个怯字,

也许是自己看到了差距才会如此害怕,

还是对自己太没有信心了.

一大堆的PRESENTATION, REPRORT, TEAM WORK.

一打厚厚的A4 纸是就记录了我接下来的3个月里要做的事,

而所有这些字字句句就是为了一个目标,

整个科目拿到50%就可以合格这一门课.

可是,人不是应该有更高的要求吗?

 

现在觉得越来越难适应这个社会了,

已经不知道要怎么样和别人相处了,

过去总觉得自己在交际上很能耐,

现在看看,其实根本就不是,

以前,有爸爸妈妈的保护,

以前,总是信誓旦旦,不记后果,

以前,至少有几分纯真,

以前,看不到真实的残酷.

然而---

现在,离开的爸爸妈妈,没有了保护

      已不在多言,却总是思前考后,

      开始情绪多变,

      想要逃避现实.

真的,真的,真的很讨厌自己很情绪化,

为什么会变得这么容易生气,

这么容易对身边的一切产生不满,

害怕觉得自己心胸越来越狭窄,

也许更年期早到了吧!

我倒是希望如此,

不然的话,我会为自己的小肚鸡肠而自责很久的.

希望自己能找到什么良策能帮助自己改变下.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

正因为我遇得见这种未来,

 

所以我放弃了人人都觉得珍贵的爱情鸦片,

 

而是停在原地不动.

 

也再没有了疑问.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

听着Nelly.Rowland.Kelly的Dilemma

 

感觉这个夏天也随着这首歌舞动起来．

 

虽然每天要早起去工作已经成了上帝对我的诅咒，

 

但是下了班回家洗个澡

 

再坐在电脑前听着喜欢的音乐，

 

写下自己的心情，

 

再在别人的空间上留点自己的身影，

 

也会让我亦常的快乐，

 

这也算是上帝的恩赐吧！

 

第一次听这首歌的时候记得好像刚刚来ＳＹＤＥＮＹ，

 

每天泡在ＰＵＢ和ＰＡＲＴＹ之间，

 

认识了很多因为快乐而在一起的朋友，

 

每一个音符都会让我回想起那些快乐的时光．

 

现在想起来，虽然那些快乐的事情已经不会再来了，

 

大家都各自东西了，

 

但是在那些时刻里，我也真真体验到了国外的不同之处．

 

一语难尽啊！

 

尽管现在的生活如此，我还是要继续开拓我的新生活的．

 

．．．．．．

 

学习时间开始咯！

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

剪短了我的头发,

总以为

最近一直不能自拔,

我的N次否定,

因为那'一升的眼泪'

或许换个普通的少女来演绎

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be grey,
put your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be grey,
put your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
]I like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

 

 

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be grey,
put your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

 

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote,
I hope you have a chance I ain't mad
I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
]we waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No." That's pretty shitty man
you're like his fuckin idol He wants to be just like you man,
he likes you more than I do I ain't that mad though,
I just don't like bein lied to Remember when we met in Denver
you said if I'd write you, you would write back
see I'm just like you in a way I never knew my father neither
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs so when I have a shitty day,
I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it

My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan
P.S. We should be together too

 

 

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be grey,
put your picture on my wall

It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

 

Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway

Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it

You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me See Slim
Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up,
see I ain't like you cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now

Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?
{*car tires squeal*} {*CRASH*}.. {*brief silence*} .. {*LOUD splash*}

 

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be grey,
put your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,

it's not so bad..

 

Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,

I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin dogg,
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time before you hurt yourself,
I think that you'll be doin just fine if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan

I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn!